Dot Dot Dash - Leveling The Blogger Playing Field
The US government has assumed the role of neutralizing the natural effects that result from various amounts of ambition, talent and effort. Bail outs are dished out to crony institutions that are failing as a result of reckless incompetence, while their competitors have to make it on their own. Subsidies are granted to offset the realities of bad market positions. Earnings are taken from the taxpayers that study, work hard and climb the ladder in order to provide for the ones that don't bother with that nonsense. Well, I want mine!
There is a wide spectrum of talent in the blogger domain, and many of those guys work hard and are really, really good. I am kind of new to this, and I am not sure that I can compete under the current conditions. Many of them have loyal readers that may not want to consider reading my
crap intelligent insights and comic genius. Three sentences ago, I had to use "really, really good" because of my limited familiarity with adjectives. Without the spell checker, my stuff might not even be readable. I was even cursed with a goofy name that could scare away potential readers. As a disadvantaged victim of these hard realities, I expect, rather I demand assistance! Don't I have a right to the pursuit of happiness? Well, I would enjoy blogging if more people were reading my crap work.
Our nation's debt and budget deficits have grown to a mass that threatens to collapse under the force of its own gravity to form a black hole that squeezes the bejesuses out of everyone (guilty and innocent alike). Space aliens from planet societies that have their act together sometimes discover these floating, dense balls of citizen guts drifting about the universe. They shake their heads, knowing that liberal planet infestations caused it, take a picture, and then zip off to a more hopeful corner of the galaxy. Given the severity of the budget woes, I suspect my chances of getting government funds may be a tad unrealistic for my concern.
Maybe, I could cheat. Here's an idea. I will tell them that I plan to import under aged girls for running an illegal brothel in order to justify assistance. Nah. That certainly used to work, but I hear they stopped doing that recently for some reason. Besides, none of my clothes are pimpin' enough to pull it off.
There must be another solution. Aha! The government can mandate that bloggers with large reader followings, must write a certain percentage of their material in Morse Code. This will level the playing field such that it becomes fair. No new equipment is needed. As proof, I have a dash in my title, and this sentence ends in a dot. Morse Code translators are available online so why not? It is definitely better than some of the other gems from Washington D.C.
Let's try it on one of my more insightful quotes.
BEFORE: "They went together like accupuncture and breast implants".
AFTER: "They went - --- --. . - .... . .-. like accupuncture and -... .-. . .- ... - implants."
Heck yeah! Anyone could compete with that! That takes care of the blogger side of things. Hmmm, I wonder if reader laugh counts be mandated?
Don't forget to read -. --- / --. ..- .. .-.. .-.. --- - .. -. . ... / .-. . --.- ..- .. .-. . -...
Be nice.national debt