Blogs by cribbooky

If you are one of the many, many millions of readers that follow my blogs religiously, you may have noticed that I rag on the Tea Party activists sometimes. It's not that I disagree with their messages or goals. I respect and agree with them 100 percent! My beef (along with a little BS) is that I fear that their protests will accomplish little more than venting and noise, which can be ignored (ask any spouse). I am concerned that they will delude themselves into believing that they actually accomplished something, and hence, do nothing more. It's like exchanging cash gifts for similar amounts with someone. You have made a symbolic and meaningful gesture, but the net result will not buy any beers for anyone (a major concern!). Having made their noise, it is likely that the TPAs will sleep a little better, while dreaming of effective voting, only to wake up to the same reality in the morning.

The only real way to effect change is power and doing something new. Simply voting again will not work for reasons discussed in this recent blog (warning - that blog was written in the nearly humorless style used before my comic rebirth). For those unwilling to risk dry blogs, here's a recap. Votes from the right are mostly cancelled out by purchased votes from the left. Who purchased them? You did actually. As more government programs improve the comfort and acceptance level of being government dependent, the number of left votes will continue to increase to cancel the right votes, which are trying to stop the growing burden of it all. Unlike the gift swap analogy shared earlier, the taxpayers unfortunately pay for both sides of the deal.

Still, one must admit that the Tea Party activists bring attention to their causes (notice how I switched to third party context when conceding a counter point - sheer deviousness!), and attention can generate results (just ask any of the jailed streakers). So I brainstormed this and eventually experienced a genuine epiphany (happy nod to thesaurus). I started developing this idea several drinks into the New Year celebration so I know it is a solid concept.

My thought process went something like this. How does one protest without having to miss time at work (taxpayers generally have jobs - a major cooperation killer for protests)? Take another sip of margarita. How can the protest stand out amongst the noise of the numerous other protests? Down a Quervo shooter for inspiration. How did J-Lo get into that outfit? Take a gulp of margarita to refocus on mental exercise. How does one make a protest fun? Various tequila based consumptions now inspiring direction of thought process. Where and how do all of those Times Square celebrators go to the bathroom? I totally lost focus somewhere about that time and had to resume the thought process the next day while nursing a mild hangover.

Shortly after finishing my hot liquid morning stimulant, it hit me (not nausea, the aforementioned epiphany). The US taxpayers can rally together to express their support for the causes that motivate the US Stakeholders Movement by (wait for it...) DOING THE ROBOT! Yes, that is what resulted from my genius DNA and the sum total of all of my grand wisdom gathered over the years.

Doing The Robot is a classic American past time so it fits nicely. I considered the Moon Walk, but many people cannot do that correctly, and they would probably just be mistaken for someone that really has to pee so The Robot wins. Doing The Robot is kind of cool. It is an enjoyable form of artistic expression, and everyone can do it to some degree (you know that you have), with some really nailing it. The Robot is very symbolic because taxpayers spend a fair unfair share of their time working for someone else without compensation just like our mechanical friends. The Robot Protest does not produce the pains, looting, death or destruction created by violent rioting, yet it can still be fun. It goes well with beer (always a plus). It requires no sign fabrication, no trip to city hall (where parking gets scarce from the angry protesting and counter-protesting crowds), and it does not cost a cent of your taxed earnings. The Robot can also be performed while simultaneously hating Simon Cowell, if you simply must.

Most of you can probably do The Robot moves at work without effecting your job performance. Okay, surgeons get a pass here (only during surgeries), and barbers will require some use of caution, but in general, the mechanical movements and speech can be executed in compliance with the demands of most jobs. Even if you do not throw in some extra riveting moves, the robotic jerkiness is unmistakable from the graceful movement norms. Even my Chihuahuas notice the difference (I just tested this, and they cocked their heads and then ran).

Therefore, The Robot can be done almost anywhere. It is easily perceived, yet minimally disruptive to routine functioning. As with the government dependent living, mass participation will breed acceptance. With many taxpayers cooperating, others will join in the fun without even realizing it is a protest so there will be some collateral participant leverage as well (maybe even some unaware liberals... hee-hee). Some folks will certainly participate simply to annoy their boss and assorted co-workers a little.

The where and how are covered so let's address the when. If we actually did The Robot at work during the entire period that we are working only to pay income taxes, many of us would be robotting the entire work day for more than a quarter of the year. Doing The Robot that long is probably unpractical. I tried to do it for a week once and by late Tuesday afternoon, the novelty was gone. My robotting skills improved somewhat, but people eventually got desensitized to it. People can get used to almost anything, which is partly to blame for our nation's troubles. Likewise, if you redistributed the protest schedule to do The Robot daily at work throughout the entire year during the portion of each day worked only to pay income taxes, many taxpayers would be doing The Robot for over two hours every single work day. Again, it would get old, and getting old is not very robottish.

Since the Robot Protest is a demonstration of solidarity against unfair taxation and our disconnected government, let's do it on April 15th, tax filing deadline day. This gives everyone time to spread the news of this planned protest and plenty of time to polish their all important robotting skills if they are rusty (rim-shot sound effect). Perform The Robot on April 15th at the beginning of the work day for a duration of time that lasts as long as the portion of that day being worked only to pay your income taxes. Many of you will be surprised by the immensity of that period of time. Feel free to throw in some extra Robot time if you happen to agree that our government is broken while paying little income tax (such as due to job loss, ever so popular these days). There is no gathering location. You just do it wherever you are (a public place would be notably more effective). Trust me. A nation of robotting taxpayers will not go unnoticed and will have a truly fun and unifying effect.

Don't forget to join the Robot Protest Facebook group and to put this event on your calendar. Start networking (good robots do) and spread the word that the US Stakeholders Movement is sponsoring The Robot Protest on April 15th.

Beep nice.